Tuesday, March 14, 2006

hapsad....exctly how life is: a mix of feelings and experiences

I wonder how can situations change so much... from a second to another....how can we be happy for a second and than out of the blue sad for two seconds.......
MPN was one of my best conferences in AIESEC...the conference that convinced me the most that I made the right decision when running for LCP......yes I'm surrounded by wonderful people, people that make me feel so in loved with this organization.....I would have never though that I could meet so many special people in my own LC....and then I figured out that I have never tried to know them better....wrong really wrong...because most probably we would have been good friends until now....but is never to late :)......
But, even though everything seemed to be the greatest week I had....something happend ..... today I walked for 2 hours just thinking at what do I want from my personal life.....yes, I read a lot because I want to develop myself, yes I have friends that are next to me, yes my family is my best friend, yes I have a great boyfriend....but something is missing, and you don't realize that until you are about to lose it....what I learnt these days, that honestly weren't the best I had, was just a small thing " live what you have in the moment you have it because in the next second you may lose it".......there are certain things that I know right know but from this puzzle is missing just one person" me" and what do I really want......though question with hard answers......I need time for myself and just for myself because I feel my life running and carrying me after it without my will.....I hope I will find that moment and that strenght to do what will make me say " this is how I want to live"....in this moment I don't really know how I want to live, there are just some clues that I have but no certain road.......I will try to find my road and I will stop everything, friends or feelings, that may inflence the way I will drive my life from now on.....