Tears over tears....the sky is not that blue

sometimes life gives you surprise by surprise....you realize that you have change....you realize that you want more....but most important you realize that other people are stronger than you, are capable of ruin you...and for what? did you judge them, no....did you make something wrong to them, maybe.....these are just thought about a tragic reallity...people want you ruined....but the bad news for them is that I won't give up so easy, because if you want something badly you will have it.....people, the best thing to want near you, in the same time your biggest enemies.....I will stay and think twice about who are my friends...for sure another battle with my life....and I won't give up....

a new milestone.....new great friends

I was thinking at this post since I arrived home from LPM, but for 1 day and a half I couldn't simply find my words about the feelings that I have........the last 11 days spent with my EB team were one of the best that I lived until know....so many things came up, some many things united us...it was simply a unique team experience.....the most amazing thing for me was when I was missing them during the time they had session.....I missed laughting, talking, joking with them.....during the plenary sessions each time I was looking for their presence as if they were the ones that give me all the energy that I needed......it is hard to express exactly the feelings that I have right now, when I am listening to one of the songs that were close to us in these days " day by day".......I feel the luckiest person as I had such a great chance to know, to understand my team, and see them as great friends.....right now sitting at my laptop and writing this post I miss them, but I am so happy that I realized this 8 month before finishing our term, for sure I will do my best to have together the best team experience ever........

My parents. LOVE. EFFORT.CONFIDENCE

There would be so many things to be said, but simple words are the right answer....what I feel in these moments is strange........I miss my parents, they want me to go and see them, isn't that logic:)....I will go because I need them, I need to see their face......these days some weird things happened, I was in a bus and I started thinking what thing would make my parents more proud than ever.......thinking I realized that I don't know for sure, but with all this I imagined me making that thing and having the occasion to tell them thank you for everything...........what came my mind in that moment was to find that ultimate thing, but then I realize that I don't want to be too late and not to have the occassion to tell them thank you for everything......so I decided to write them a letter and give them this letter when I will go this weekend home....the letter goes like this:

" Dear mom and dad,

Thank you for offering me the best gift ever.....my life
Thank you for creating me an unique life
Thank you for dedicating your life to me
Thank you for supporting me in every each decision that I took
Thank you for calling me almost each day just for asking me " Ce faci iubita?"
Thank you for trusting me and proving me this day by day
Thank you for the feeling that I have that somebody is with me anytime
Thank you for being my best friends!!!!!

One day, I will offer you what you offered me, I will make sure that I will give you back the happiness that you offered me, the confort of living without problems what you created for me, the unlimited love that I feel every day!!!

Thank you, your little Ralu, Cuca, Ralucutza "

A day spent with my team

Half past 4 A.M, get off from the Bucharest train, had a nap for 3 hours..........9 A.M EB Meeting.......my head was killing me, my eyes couldn't see too well, my sun glasses really helped me....two cups of coffee in 2 hours......6 people that made my day a really nice one,..........I completely forgot about the sleep that used to kill me at the beginning of the day.......1 P.M first part of the meetings is done, we had lots of discussions, took lots of picture and had a lot of good time with cumpara, cumpara, my friends now what I am talking about......1.30 P.M is time for lunch, we went to the student restaurant, meanwhile we some people sleeping under some trees, made us think how would we look after finishing our term :), while having launch my team mates put me to pass the trust test, a very weird test that I couldn't even imagine that I would test, but I did it :) ....to give you an insight it is kind of a Turkish role call :)......2.30 P.M, the other part of the EB meeting, better said the structure task force is about to start, we went buying ice cream and cherries and went to Hash place....4 girls and Bobo :)....the way to Hash place was really funny, first we lost Andreea then after we found her, unfortunately she did not find us and it started sort of hide and seek game :)......in the end we all met at Hash place and started our discussions, 2 hours of thinking what is the best solution for our LC, two hours of questioning, two hours of real EB life :)..........at 17.30 P.M our schedule finished, we all went home to study cause the exams are killing us:)........the best thing is that I went home smiling and dreaming how my best year will look with all this people around me.......for sure it will be great, for sure I will thank them for offering me the chance to know them!!!

I may say that this was one of my best days since I am a president, but why so cause it looks like a normal day, yet for me not, because what I like most in a team is the family feeling, and in that day I felt it all around me......

Thanks guys for this amazing day, I think it gave me all the reflection that I needed in AIESEC :), for sure this year will be a memorable year for you, because I took my commitment of offering us the best time ever:)

Thanks God for having the amazing chance of being an AIESEC member, and without even think to at the beginning of April 2004, succeed in being present of AIESEC Cluj-Napoca at the end of January 2006

What I promised to myself is not to let this year pass without having the time of my life, after 2 months of being president I already have experiences that for sure will contribute to the success of this year, so this means I'm following the right path :)

About my friends

Ooooo.......there are so many feelings that I have in this moment: there's love, there's happiness, there's sadness, there's a lot of questioning......I am having the best period of my life, I live the period that I gives me the greatest challenges that I could ever have.....

During the last period I reflected a lot at the changes that happened lately in my life, oh my God there is such a difference between Raluca,the sixteen years old girls partying from one club to another, studying 3 extra courses just to know new things, and Ciuci, the almost 22 years girls in an unfinished self discovery trip, always wanting to be better and better.......

One week ago I had one of the most revealing coffee with the person that I love most, it was a coffee that made me think a lot at my behaviour, my way of thinking, my way of acting.....

I discovered that my biggest achievment that I have until now are my friends, because I have really good friends, friends that say to me" Congratz", friends that say to me" you should think twice", friends that help me grow.......

I will write down some special lyrics for me, lyrics that express the feelings that I have for the three Sex in the City Girls (Miha, Mali, Lucki), feelings that I have for Stefan, Rada.......feelings that I have for the person that I love the most and is as well one of my best friends, Gabi.....

Sometimes people come into your life

Like they're meant to be

And suddenly you've found someone

Who sees the world like you see

And you laugh like crazy

At all the crazy things

That no one thinks are funny but you

That's when I knew

That I had a friend so true


If my world were crumbling down

You are the one I'd want around

Cause through everything you've shown me that

You were the one who had my back


Remember the laughs

Then add up the dreams

And take it to the nth degree

We'll be friends forever

Cause you'll be forever in my heart

That's where best friends are


There will always be hard times

I'm glad I've got you to see me through

And I will never forget your smile

I just have to say thank you


For being there always

Even the darkest days

Especially when you didn't have to

That's when I knew

I had a friend in you


So if your world should fall apart

Call me I'll run to where you are

I only hope that I can be

Half of the friend you've been to me


thanks a lot for every thing.....and most especially cause I know you are next to me always :)

guess who am I

looking these days on the internet I found a very intresting site called googlism :)......what is this? its description says something like this....... Googlism.com will find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything! Search for your name here or for a good laugh check out some of the popular Googlisms below

raluca is under the supervision of dr feng li and dr jason whalley
raluca is an extremely hard worker and is a great team playerraluca is offline registered
raluca is employed as a collaborator at the "commission for work and social protection"
raluca is in the process of writing an article for the circuit about our chapter
raluca is a romanian national living in romania who speaks english
raluca is already familiar with current real estate values
raluca is the most "power" women i have ever known
raluca is from austria and a dear friend to me
raluca is the type who won't let anyone take one moment of her time away from her
raluca israluca is also new at casa shalom

really funny...you can make your day with this googlismn!!!!

but when looking for Ciuci I received the following answer Sorry, Google doesn't know enough about ciuci yet. :)

let's see about AIESEC

aiesec is basicaiesec is a valuable learning experience
aiesec is all about international opportunities
aiesec is the bestaiesec is definitely a ?can
aiesec is a valuable learning experience whether you are going on a traineeship or participating in running aiesec’s exchange activities
aiesec is an internationalaiesec is an acronym for l'association internationale des étudiantaiesec is a global
aiesec is the world's largest internationalaiesec is working towards globally
aiesec is one of the most effective institutions that exists in this regard
aiesec is active ranges from argentina to zimbabweaiesec is a global organisation operating in 87 countries all over the world
aiesec is a new organization here at rice
aiesec is challenging me every day and i like challeges
aiesec is people show us how cool do you look like
aiesec is founded on international experienceaiesec is able to provide the resumes of job candidates to your company
aiesec is the world's premier international work exchange organizatio dedicated to increasing cultural understanding
aiesec is our worldwide network and the great variety opportunities we are able to offer
aiesec is the world's premiere studentaiesec is the best way to gain international work experienceaiesec is the worlds largest international
aiesec is a big family around the world
aiesec is trying to make people aware of other culturesaiesec is done by ai
aiesec is an international exchangeaiesec is consolidating its focus

googlism is also smart :)

hapsad....exctly how life is: a mix of feelings and experiences

I wonder how can situations change so much... from a second to another....how can we be happy for a second and than out of the blue sad for two seconds.......
MPN was one of my best conferences in AIESEC...the conference that convinced me the most that I made the right decision when running for LCP......yes I'm surrounded by wonderful people, people that make me feel so in loved with this organization.....I would have never though that I could meet so many special people in my own LC....and then I figured out that I have never tried to know them better....wrong really wrong...because most probably we would have been good friends until now....but is never to late :)......
But, even though everything seemed to be the greatest week I had....something happend ..... today I walked for 2 hours just thinking at what do I want from my personal life.....yes, I read a lot because I want to develop myself, yes I have friends that are next to me, yes my family is my best friend, yes I have a great boyfriend....but something is missing, and you don't realize that until you are about to lose it....what I learnt these days, that honestly weren't the best I had, was just a small thing " live what you have in the moment you have it because in the next second you may lose it".......there are certain things that I know right know but from this puzzle is missing just one person" me" and what do I really want......though question with hard answers......I need time for myself and just for myself because I feel my life running and carrying me after it without my will.....I hope I will find that moment and that strenght to do what will make me say " this is how I want to live"....in this moment I don't really know how I want to live, there are just some clues that I have but no certain road.......I will try to find my road and I will stop everything, friends or feelings, that may inflence the way I will drive my life from now on.....

the chance that I was given

Yeah...... it seems that my desire to write something is alive again:)....I did not want to create my blog because I simply considered that I don't have something valuable to write, but I decided to let this aside and give my soul the chance to speak in written words....
The things that you lose are the things that you loved most, and in many cases the sad part is that only after you lose it you realized how much you loved them and how many things you could have done better. It is really sad because we hardly force ourselves to live in tolerance, to laugh when we need, to cry when we have to, to do madness things, we control ourselves from various silly reasons without realizing that could be our last chance. Why having a hard fight with our boyfiend/girlfiend instead of discussing in peace, maybe tomorrow we regret that we lost the chance to say "I love you", why not having a crazy night with our friends then just go home because next day we have things to do, maybe we won't have this chance again.....why not living the moment and at the end of the day to say "today I was happy"......we just have one chance to live and is just our option how we live it........my mother told me once that no matter what day you had don't go to sleep without saying "I love you" to the person next to you, without saying "Thank you" to the person that help you or " You did a great job" to the person that deserve that.....she was so true......
You now I hardly express my feelings and I needed a bad thing to happen in order to realize how stupid I was....you know why because..... I never told Rada that I like staying in the kitchen with her drinking our coffee and talking girl stuff, I never told Stefan that I admire him the most and I want him to be my mentor, I never told Miha she is really my best friend, I never told Lucki that I wish I had a sister and now I found on, I did not prove Gabi enough that his the person that I really love the most and I really trust him....what am I waiting?...these people have to be told these things in order to have my heart satisfied....but I did not do it?!
Thank you God that you did not take me the chance to tell Rada what I fell....thank you God that you showed me once again that we should live our life in the best way and at the end of the day we can say "I'm happy"

First time is always special

Smile
Sit up straight. Lift your head up. Lift your eyes. Take a long, deep breath, and smile.
Though things may be far from perfect for you, act like it's a great day to be alive.
Because it is.
Keep a smile on your face and in your voice. Put a spring in your step. Act like you
would act if you were the most confident, successful, joyful person in your town. Speak
toothers in kind and positive terms. Think and speak to yourself the same way.
Embrace the challenges and see their positive possibilities.
There is no need to delay, even for another moment, the fulfillment that life can bring.
See the world around you for what it is, and know that it cannot bring you down. Live
today as if it is the best day you could possibly imagine. And in doing that you make it
so.